all rise...(or choke!)

Friday, September 2, 2011

NAMELESS - COMING HOME

When I first came across this song the first thing that came to mind was Sauti Sol (considering how massively awesome their identically titled song is) and even though there is no relation whatsoever between the artistes or the songs, the state of mind that puts you in certainly sets a high standard of what to expect. That having been said, Nameless does really well in this production which is a dedication to Kenya's sporting heroes. Credit to him for coming up with the concept and a marvelous execution. The video is also really well done and effectively brings out the message in the song. I think Nameless was targeting Kenyans in the diaspora and fans of Kenyan sports with this song and I should say it would set the perfect mood when you're watching 10,000 metres athletics from the stands. Judging by how well it's been received, I'm pretty sure by the time Nameless puts anything out again Tomiso will be in high school so enjoy it while it's still fresh.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

NONINI FEAT LADY BEE & CHEGE

Another one from The Godafther. I must admit, Non's has done pretty well for himself over the years. He has transformed greatly from the much critiqued persona that characterized his entry into the music scene into n entrepreneurial guru of sorts. FYI he's somehow gotten himself on iTunes and even has his own App. I bet the mathe's who were constantly complaining that his music was a bad influence on their kids would gladly hand him their daughters now. Anyway, great song and as always the video odes not disappoint. Not much to critique here really...the song and video speak for themselves. Oh, he's also been featured in a collabo with some jungu from Houston. Not bad...not bad at all. Check it out.

Friday, April 15, 2011

SAUTI SOL - COMING HOME

Clearly these guys know no limit when it comes to perfection. They keep going...and going...and going...Energizer style! I think Sauti Sol should hold a refresher course for Kenyan Entertainers so that they can school the lot on how this shit is supposed to be done. The best thing about this song is not even the song itself, it's the video. Beautiful script, quality production and have you seen the acting on this baby?! This five minute flick would make for a comprehensive lesson in acting for the entire cast of Better Days, Changing Times and the rest of those western-wannabe productions on Kenyan TV nowadays. I must add however that some of the scenes are quite bold. I'm just waiting to see if it will be aired on TV what with all the new censorship rules and CCK hullaballoo. Not that it's offensive but knowing Kenyan's i'm pretty sure a couple of  old guys will be complaining about how ïmproper' this is. Generally, this is simply brilliant work from the boys.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

MIMMO - MORNING AFTER

To be absolutely honest, I've never thought much of Kenyan female artistes with the exception of one or two. And the only reason even they make the cut is because they have nice racks/behinds that provide the sufficient distraction neccessary to withstand their painful 'singing'. Oh and then there's also Nazizi. But truth be told, Mimmo is one of the few new school female Kenyan musicians worth reckoning. Well she does have a great rack too but that's not what I'm talking about. This lady can sing. Her first entry (the one where she goes like...nimenoki,nimenoki, nimenjoti eeehh..!) was probably not worth losing much sleep over but it was quite evident in her delivery that she was on to something. Now that she's gotten over that blonde moment her talent speaks for itself. This track is just the one! If they made a metal rock version of this song all the demented rock heads would get into a demonic frenzy and chant "awesome" till their necks snapped. Well, maybe not but you get the idea. The video is great too. Simple yet stylish. But the message...i'm going to have to disagree with Mimmo on that one. Sure it's a great message to preach to those high school going "tumechill" kids but how the heck do you expect the rest of us to get laid with music like this playing in the club?!

Monday, April 11, 2011

P. UNIT FEAT. GAZA - USKONDE

So the Pussy-Unit finally grew some balls and decided to make a real song. And I must say it's not so bad. It's a fresh deviation from the traditional P. Unit we have come to associate with shallow and silly lyrics that have no bearing whatsoever (at this point 'Kare' comes to mind). This track actually has a positive message, great vocals and a superb flow that makes it a pleasure to listen to. So then what's wrong with it? Everything! For starters, this track is too good to be P. Unit's original idea based on their past track record. Unless their mothers woke up one day and resolved to bitch slap the stupidity out of these dude's there is no way they can come up with such a song all by themselves! Which leads me to conclude that the original idea came from Gaza whom I know to be a reputable conscious HipHop artiste. Yet he is nowhere to be found in the video! Oh...the video. Don't even get me started on that! I mean it is actually a good video what with all the reversal effects (i have no idea how that's even done) and slow motions. But you don't just watch a video from Statoe copy paste the exact idea and expect all 30something million Kenyans to be stupid enough not to notice! I totally respect P. Unit for their hustle and everything, but that's just sucking below the balls!

Monday, March 21, 2011

MUTHONI THE DRUMMER QUEEN - LIFE

Muthoni has great vocals, why lie. But that's not what makes this video so terriffic. It's her creativity we have to thank for that. The concept of the song is in itself outstanding while the video script is utterly remarkable. One can however notice one or two goofs in some of the scenes but generally the final product is superb. I'm pretty convinced this mama smokes weed because some of her ideas couldn't thrive in a sober mind. Great stuff.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

WYRE FEAT. JB MAINA - MWANAKE

I have said this before in other forums and I will say it here again. Wyre is definitely high on something illegal and whatever it is I want me some of that sh*t! In the past year or so this guy has done collabo's with artistes from Kigali to Kingston and God-knows where in between and somehow all of them sound dope. His album 'Ten Years Wiser' is proof that experience is indeed the best teacher. You've got to love how his distinct style and flow resonate through every track he features in. I think he should be the only Kenyan allowed to sing ragga if his collabo with cecille is anything to go by. The rest should be wrapped in tissue paper and dumped in Beenie Man's pit latrine. This particular track is a remake of JB's Mwanake and Wyre has truly done it justice. He gives it what my skinny jeans wearing 16 year old brother calls 'swag'. I mean, the song was a club banger already but with Wyre's midas touch we might as well call in the fire brigade and put them on standby because this sh*t is straight blazin'! The video however is a bit of a let down. Back in the day Wyre was famed for the magnificent dance displays on his videos but of late he seems to be pulling a laid back kind of approach which just isn't working if you ask me. But from what I hear, his next release (the one with Cecille) should make up for all that.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

JULIANI FT. JAYA - BAHASHA YA OCAMPO

Just the other day I was talking to an entertainment critic about how Kenyan hip hop is as dead as a drunk's dudu only for Juliani to pull this off a couple of days later. This guy...is the SHIT! I can say with confidence that Juliani stands unrivaled among his Hip Hop peers in the Kenyan music industry and this track is my witness. His flow and delivery are ecstatic. His punchlines traumatic. His swagger electric. And if that is not enough to wow you, the message will force you to bow down (first to the Creator then to his dreadlocked emmissary). The video is as simple as they come yet perfectly executed with visual clarity and superbly scripted scenes. Jaya does well to deliver great vocals on the chorus and backup's to give the song a smooth touch. With this piece, Juliani might just as well have sent his competition to Hell...err...Hague and the rest of us to Heavenly bliss.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

SAUTI SOL - SOMA KIJANA

This song is the debut single off Sauti Sol's sophomore album, SolFilosofia. It embodies everything that is good about Kenya's most celebrated boy band. You'd have to be an extremely pompous bigot to fault these guys on this one. Sauti Sol have perfected the art of simplicity and that comes out quite clearly in this magnificent composition. The song is in itself a marvelous work of art while the video is the equivalent of the half smile on the Mona Lisa. I think the reason Sauti Sol are so big is because they don't really try to out do themselves. One can tell from the video and just by listening to the song that these guys are thoroughly enjoying themselves. I should point out (lest every toad sounding egghead out there runs to the studio hoping to 'enjoy themselves' in an attempt to produce something similar) that they are also extremely talented and creative although you don't need to be a music maestro to figure that out. Their vocal ability and lyrical content are unrivaled in comparison to other artistes in the Kenyan industry with the exception of one or two. The message on this track is uniquely powerful and almost everyone can relate to it (unless of course you're simply stupid!). I'm still wondering though, who is that white dude playing the drums? And one other thing, that tall guy (what's his name?) always seems to overshadow the rest of the crew and hog all the attention not just in the video but even on their performances. You might want to check on that guys. As a suggestion, perhaps you could trim his legs a bit so he's at the same level with the rest of you. Just a thought. Good job guys!

NONINI FEAT. KARMA - HII BARUA

Like fine wine, Nonini seems to grow bigger and better with age. Somehow he has managed to mature musically while still maintaining the same style that spurred him to stardom. In other words, he still curses like an African-American whore and makes a shitload of money while at it! He's managed to create a defiant brand in himself ever since he walked out on Clemo and Co. and it seems to be serving him well if you ask me. Of course his partnesrhip with the likes of Willie Owusu and Musyoka has played a great role in sustaining his career but you have to give him credit too for defying so many odds to get where he is today. This particular video is an absolute mark of quality. It goes to show how far one's effort can take you in this industry. Karma blends beautifully with Nonini's flow to create a smoothly synchronized melody with Musyoka's bumping bounce beat as the icing.  One thing to note though Non's, that whole 'Mafans' thing is overplayed, get a new line.

JAGUAR - KIGEUGEU

There's something about this song that makes you want to hear it again and again. I've never thought much of Jaguar. Apart from being a total junkie turned braggart i've never really seen what all the fuss about him is for. But you have to give it to him, the guy knows how to handle his business (not in that sense, perverts). The video quality (as usual, Ogopa Videos) is simply sublime! The script is well constructed and the execution, even better. Vocal delivery is okay but Jaguar fails miserably when it comes to lyrics. Don't get me wrong, the whole idea behind the song is absolutely great but i'm compelled to think Jaguar was knocked out on Crystal-Meth when he was writing the lines for this track. It's like he was saying to himself "umm...si i've written a nice line there, why don't I follow it up with an unbelievably stupid one so people can see how dumb i can be sometimes...".

STL - HABA HABA

I couldn't find the video for this song (probably because it hasn't been done yet) so i uploaded a clip of the perfomance. This song got STL nominated for the Eurovision Awards (representing Norway-you should have heard the uproar some narrow minded Norwegians caused over the whole matter). I like STL. She's focused and professional with her music. Her videos are to die for and i bet this particular one will be exceptional. I've tried asking a few Kenyan artistes I know why they don't try to match STL's level of perfection and almost all have argued that she is advantaged because she is based abroad. I say pig poop! Yáll just need to get your act together. After all, when someone chucks smelly farts because they eat too much junk (note the allusion) is it because they have a dietary advantage over ordinary farters?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

PROFF FEAT K-TISA - NANI


If this video was my wife, I would beat her thoroughly during the day then make sweet love to her in the night. You've just got to hate to love it. For one, the graphics are bollocks! Yet the chorus is just so catchy you can't afford to miss it. Then there's the part where K-Tisa raps. SMH! Dude sounds more lame than an obese paraplegic! But then there's that chorus...Then there are the lyrics. Proff failed a bit there. Considering how smooth he was on Niambie it's abit of an anticlimax when the best he can do on this one is quote 'Bend Over'and 'Skip to my loo' word for word. But then there's that chorus again...See that's the point! The best thing about this song is the chorus...the worst thing about it is that the only thing that's really good about it is the chorus. That and the fact that Proff displays some degree of consistent innovativeness based on the diversity of styles in his previous works. Then of course there's that chorus again...not bad altogether.

Q-TASI - SONGA KARIBU

Someone please explain this to me like i'm a toddler...exactly what does Charles Luche smoke? I have some serious doubts regarding that guy's mental stability. How do you make such crappy videos from such (by Calif standards) terrific songs? It's like Luche shoots his videos using his Nokia 1680, edits them on Ms Word and makes the graphics on Paint! I know nursery school kids in South Sudan who make better video clips for NGO's than Luche. Q-Tasi on the other hand needs to straighten up his act. The guy looks more gay than Jimmy Gayt. The only way this dude's swag will ever look cool is if he got some breast implants and moved to Vegas. Generally, this video performed worse than my retard nephew's KCSE results. Sad! Really, sad!

PILIPILI - WANIPIMIA

Pilipili has got to be the least creative guy in the Kenyan entertainment scene if you ask me. He has the same style, same content...heck he even has the same look he had from when he came out in...when was it again? I think this guy should retire. Seriously,he's tired. There's absolutely nothing new about this video. Guy likes girl, meets her in a posh crib which is obviously not his, tries to lay her, chic turns him down, guys suffers from heartbreak. This track and it's video are as interesting as watching grass grow. It beats logic why he had to fly in (or fly out to) Adam Juma to direct the video...might as well have done it in his lavatory for all I care.

TRAPEE FT. AVRIL - NAJIVUNIA

As it turns out, Avril hasn't entirely been stripped (pun sooo intended) of all her worth. She still knows a thing or two about singing as evidenced in this effort. Her vocals on the chorus sound really fresh; nothing like the grandmother ngothaz she has so (in)famously come to be associated with. Trapee on the other hand was a collabo away from dissapearing into oblivion. Dude, should consider this his saving grace. The video quality is superior on so many levels though that should be expected considering it's an Ogopa Video production. but the best.thing about this song is the content. I will credit Trapee with the concept because I doubt blonde Avril could ever think of such an idea considering the best she could come up with prior to this was Chokoza. With it's high tempo, catchy beat and beautiful vocal arrangement, this track has got to be the best thing Kenyan's can be proud of next to Keroche and Suffericom.

HABIDA - GET DOWN TONIGHT

This being the first review on this blog, I will try to be a tad subtle...this song sucks!
First of all the lyrics sound like a blonde nursery rhyme. It's like someone shoved a Mic on her face and told her to flirt with the camera, look pretty and hopefully no one will notice how pathetic she sounds. Granted, the chic has great vocals but the lyrics (just like every other party song in Kenya) are as shallow as they come. It probably wouldn't be much of a deal if it was someone else but for a second there Habida sounded so full of promise...like a breath of fresh air on a morning in Dandora right before the stinking garbage slaps you back to reality. Whats worse, this production actually had alot of experienced hands working on it. You have Willy Owusu, RKay...it's hard to imagine one can screw it up but evidently Her-be-duh! had other ideas. Here's some free advice dear, next time you feel inspired to do a dumb party song, dont!

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